A Log In My Eye

Good Morning,
I have been struggling lately, with forgiveness, God time, versus my time and just family stuff. Hence when you are absent from Him a void within you begins to develop until you are so hungry that you can not help but eat. The realization that I can not fix any offense or words said to me in the heat of a discussion or just every day life has always been a struggle for me. I have always been in the mindset that, "If you cared about me, you would think about what you say, before you say it," which translates, you must not care about me. I realized that Jesus from the cross said, "Father forgive them they know not what they are doing." Christ new, He knew that if people were truly aware that He was the Messiah, the salvation of the world that they would not have nailed Him to the cross rather they would have fought to keep Him safe. So it is easy to say that they, we , were ignorant of the offense. So I must also believe that the people closest to me are ignorant of the offenses they commit as well. In knowing this, I turn the finger in on myself and say what is my ignorance, what offenses have I committed, and now that I am aware of them, what am I going to do, or should I say let God do to change that. Last night I had a dream, I was driving a bus and talking to the people on the bus as I drove when all of the sudden, everyone on the bus disappeared, as well as the driver, which was me. Then I was outside of the bus and the people that were on the streets had disappeared also except for a few, which asked where has everyone gone, and I said they have gone to heaven, then my dream ended. The next voice I heard said to me Deuteronomy 5:7, now I am not a theologian, I can not even remember who wrote what song the summer of '82' that was popular. I can remember versus in the bible ones that stay in my heart, however I can not recite verse or line, book and chapter maybe. So I awoke, eager this morning to see what Deuteronomy 5:7 had in store for me, "Thou shalt have none other gods, before me"KJSB "you shall have no other gods before Me"NIV. Whoa what gods have I put before my God! Then I thought about what we are studying this week in small groups 1 Kings 18:16-45. The people of Israel were worshiping baal, they had fallen away from God, and had fallen into the trap of selfishness and self want. I realize that my need for others to not offend me, to be careful as to how they treat me, is a worship of myself. I have set myself up as a god before my god. My needs, my plans, my life, my way, my pain, my sorrow, my worry, my finances, me, me, me. What a brick to be hit with, what a revelation of my selfishness. No other gods, (especially your self worship), before Me. I felt shocked needless to say. God has been speaking to me so much about forgiveness lately, because this is one of the hardest areas of my life, forgiveness. I know revelations are awesome, sometimes life changing. However, if the seed God just planted doesn't take root what good will it do, we need to keep the soil of our heart open to His word. Ever ready to make the adjustments, like the maintenance on a car. If you don't put air in your tires, they go flat. If you don't put gas in the tank, it stops. If you ignore everything in the car all together, eventually the whole things stops running, and the car dies. My air, my gas, my maintenance is God, I need to put Him first. Before I start my day, before I say a harsh word to my kids, before I think to judge someone else before I go to sleep at night. What is your before God statement? What have you placed as a priority above Him? When you see Him face to face, will He know you? Time is borrowed, in this life here it has an end, life with the Father is eternal, where should our investments be? Praying this speaks to you, I know it spoke volumes to me. May God watch over you, may He shine His grace upon you, and may you spend time in the lap of the Father, the only God, the Everlasting creator of the universe who lit a pile of wet soaked wood on fire before the prophets of baal. Praise Him forever Who is, was, is to come and always will be!!!